Sunday, September 30, 2012

ANBÉ SIVAM


            Anbe Sivam is one of my favorite movies.
Anbe Sivam portrays various incidents that 2 men come across in their journey from bhuavaneswar, Orissa to Chennai, Tamilnadu.
In the very beginning of the movie, in the airport scene, Madhavan mistakes Kamal for a terrorist and makes nonsense, highlighting the influence of media- over men’s behavior pattern/outlook formation, taking override over common sense. Interestingly madhavan himself plays the role of a young, modern ad-film maker in the movie.
Then, on arriving at the hotel booked by the airport authorities, madhavan steps out of the taxi letting in the flood water fill the car. While he lugs himself out of the flood water, there are few kids playing and enjoying in the flood water; this seemed to highlight how different set of people, view the same situation in different ways. Then comes the hotel story, in which madhavan returns Kamal’s bags only after being given his mobile-suggesting that, for madhavan, helping others is just a return of favor, not a natural attitude-which finds no first initiation. Madhavan is portrayed to help others in a business-like manner-give and take; principle of any ordinary man.
On one scene, the duo is at ichapuram railway station. While waiting for the train, they get engaged in a casual relaxed chat; as the chat, Kamal claims himself to be a …kind of messenger, and says he first met his beloved-girl (kiran) while giving messages to the public. While telling about his girl, Kamal gets carried away and starts telling about their second meeting too, without noticing that madhavan has already left his seat.
“Love gets a man carried away, drives him emotional, purifies his heart and mind, makes him subtle and gentle, instills in him best of thoughts, and inspires him to do great deeds”. If NOT, then, I think, IT is….NOT love.
Flashback starts. Kamal relives his past.
Then comes their second meeting-that makes them like each other’s company. Over time, they get into love without declaring anything; tacitly. Kamal gets a chance to do a painting in Nasser’s office building; in that painting, he ingrains his ideals into the ideals of Nasser, indirectly marking the philosophical differences of their principles. And at the same time, Nasser comes to know about their love, and sets men to dispose-off with kamal. Kamal and friends fight them off, but get jailed in framed case. Kiran bails him out. This is smelled by Nasser and shuts his daughter at home, banning her from going out and meet kamal.
Secretely they meet at a theater, though kamal tries to put an end to it citing reasons, their love comes to light plainly after kiran insists; and Kamal’s friends plan to get them married in Kerala.
As kamal prepares to leave for kerala, there are 2 more people revealing their failed loves; and in both the cases, remarkably, failed-parties neither stop nor try to win their beloved; they just let their beloved go, out of love.
Kamal travels to kerala, but on the way, bus meets with an accident, injuring kamal severely and killing his closest aide among others. Kamal gets hospitalized, and is visited by Nasser who tells kamal that it was god’s punishment for his trying to get married to his daughter. Further Nasser says, kamal is only alive by just 10% and reasons with him that he cannot accept an only-10%-alive-cadaver to marry. He suggests kamal to die, kamal too nods.
Kamal recovers after many months and comes to Nasser’s home to meet kiran. Nasser says she’s married and is pregnant. He further says that he had committed only one mistake of telling his daughter that kamal is dead. And he warns kamal, not to make him a murderer too. Again he makes an offer of money to which kamal sneeringly answers, “unga paNaththukku paNinjO, balathukku bayandhO,  ….poren-nu nenaikkadhinga…. Kaadhal keedhal-nu sonneengale,…..andha kaadhalukkaahadhaan poren….. Unga ponnai poruththavarai naan seththavanavae irundhukkaren”, and walks away.
Then kamal visits the accident spot and adopts the dog that helped people identify him and eventually save him.
Flashback ends here. Back to present.
Back at ichapuram railway station. Kamal and madhavan start a discussion and coromandal train too arrives in the meantime. Their discussion becomes a little violent argument, leading ultimately to separation of kamal from madhavan.
Madhavan entering into his compartment, meets a very formally clad, Sanskrit-English-speaking, seemingly well-educated, multifaceted Uththaman. Uththaman offers madhavan a glass of whisky (which is drugged) and takes away his entire luggage when madhavan is fast asleep. Madhavan is woken up by ticket examiner to announce delay because of an accident en route.
Getting down at the accident spot, madhavan sees the gory side of an accident and also meets kamal & sister Vanessa. Madhavan is convinced to donate blood to a boy battling for life. This team of three, along with a doctor and driver, then travel together in an ambulance towards Chennai to admit the battling boy for ICU treatment.
Unfortunately the boy dies on the way. Madhavan, overwhelmed with disappointment and emotion, weeps and raises questions over the existence of god in grief and anger. Kamal looks at him meaningfully and smiles; madhavan immediately collects himself, balances and apologizes to god, telling he’s not an atheist like kamal.
The discussion then follows is worth a million; should be watched at least a couple of times repeatedly to get the gist of it.
“munnap pinna theriyaadha oru paiyanukkaaha kaNNeer vidara andha manasu irukke…., adhaan kadavul.”  (a heart that weeps for a boy-whom you do not know at all….that’s what is god)
They then resume their journey in the same ambulance and deliver the cadaver to his parents in chennai. They are thanked by the bereaved family and neighbors and relatives. Madhavan bids adieu but finds kamal’s cheque in his bag and goes to kamal’s home to hand over. There he finds the address holds the union office of kamal and kamal has neither a wife nor a son. Madhavan then learns that kamal has no relatives, moved by the fact and impressed by kamal’s way of life, madhavan forces kamal to go home with him, not just as a familiar-friend, but as an elder brother.
In marriage hall, kamal first finds it’s just his beloved girl, that’s about to get married to madhavan; shocked and helpless, but holds back and hides himself to avoid being recognized by the girl. He’s then identified and whisked away by Nasser into a separate chamber. Kamal forces Nasser to meet the demands of the labour union of his company and Nasser too agrees and signs accord.
“kadavulai yaenga izhukkareenga, neenga ennikkaavadhu queue la ninnu saami kumbittadhu undaa?! Queue-vai veliya niruthi vechchittu, ulla pOi personal dharisanam paakkavar aache neenga. Seiyara thappa ellaam panniputtu, undiyal-la kaasai potturuveenga. Unga paavaththai ellaam mannichchu kadavul kaappaaththuvaaru, illa? Appadi kaappaaththura kadavul, kadavulae illa. Coolie…., yaen-na avarum kaasu vaangittudhaane vaelai seiyaraaru?! Mhmhm?”
Here also Nasser, in his limited perception, is shown to interpret this in a way different from …or rather opposite to what kamal intends to mean.
Kamal gives him a letter to be delivered to madhavan, which gets passed to sandhaanabharathi and is read by him; reading the contents reveals the good heart of kamal and converts sandhanabharathi into a harmless man. Signing the agreements with union leaders is greeted by sandhaanabharathi, but Nasser plans to kill kamal. Knowing his intensions, sandhaanabharathi takes that responsibility on him, only to spare kamal’s life and alert him of this life-threat.
Meanwhile madhavan receives the letter and shows it to his would-be wife and requests her to read it as the handwriting is better intelligible to her. She reads, realizing the gravity and seriousness of the message, madhavan takes and reads. Kamal’s resonating voice articulates the rest to us. Letter contains the apparent reasons for his leaving.
As kamal walks away from marriage hall, he’s cornered at a dead end of the road by sandhaanabharathi, with a long, deadly sickle in his hand, ready to be wielded on kamal. Knowing he can’t escape, kamal admits he can’t even run but tries to protect his dog. But sandhaanabharathi informs him that he had read the letter and spares kamal, revealing he’s a changed man now.
Sandhaanabharathi: “idhukku maelaiyum nallavangalukku naan thappu panninen-nu vechchikkOngalaen, enakku andha saami nalla saave kodukkaadhu. Enakku saami nambikka irukku thambhi, ungalukku eppadiyo!”
Kamal : “enakkum irukku”
Sandhaanabharathi : “appadingalaa, endha saami?!”
To this question kamal points fingers at sandhaanabharathi himself, and says,
“Oruththana kollanum-nu vandhittu, manasa maaththikkittu, mannippum kaetkara manushan irukkaanae, adhaan ennaip poruththavaraikkum saami” (a man comes to kill…, after changing mind, he is also asking for forgiveness…, in my view, that is what is GOD)
Kamal walks away.
LOVE metamorphoses humanity into divinity.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

11 years...




9:15pm - COLLEGE-GATE:
I stepped out of the bus, and started walking on the boulevard from the main-gate towards pearl-66. (Pearl is one of the hostels in my college and I stayed in room# 66). I looked into my watch, and it was around 9:12pm. It was dark, windy and cold, but not rainy; it was mid-autumn of 2001; it was 19th September of that year.  
My feet felt too heavy to walk; shoulders drooped, I was confused in thoughts, trying to figure out what went wrong, and how and where. I was clueless; heaving a heavy sigh, I just raised my head a little to look in front. My goodness, there she was walking to her hostel, right in front of me, just 30 or 40 yards away. She did not notice me; I further slowed down to increase the gap, to avoid attracting her attention, to avoid facing her again.
It felt…, like…a walk after death.
She walked and walked; and disappeared on her way. Lonely, I was walking on the dreary, deserted road leading to hostel, thinking about what transpired between us an hour ago. I could not avoid being forced into retrospection.


7:30pm – AIYAPPA TEMPLE - OPEN SPACE:
We were sitting on the temple premises, side by side but a foot apart.
When she said, “I’ve never come out of our college compound with any male-friend”; felt a sting - perceiving myself being compared with other guys, I impatiently retorted, “I also would not have asked you out, had I considered you just as a friend”.  It was not a meditated response but an instant reaction.
(To me, she was NOT a beloved, lover-girl; she was an angel….that’s the reason I did not take her to a park or anywhere like that… I took her to a temple; …whenever I went to meet her, I always felt like a pilgrim rather than a friend/lover. In her presence, I felt purified; in conversing with her, I had my heart and mind, cleansed. She was more of AN ANGEL than a FRIEND.)
 Her reply was, one of the typical answers of many lost love stories, “but, I….regarded you as a good friend”.
There was an uncomfortable, embarrassing silence for a while.
None spoke; both seemed to struggle to find words and collect thoughts. As for me, there was no coherence in my thoughts. It was clear that it was indeed a rejection, though indirect.
“Let’s move out, it’s almost closing time”, I said, staring listlessly at the temple workers’ preparations. Standing at the temple gates, before parting, she asked, “what are you gonna do, now?!”
“I…ah…do not know.” I had no answer. I was blank. “I don’t know what to do”.
Silence fell again for a few seconds.
 “tell me what are you gonna do now?!”, she enquired considerately.
“I really do not know, I just heard you. You had told me whatever you had in your mind”, I replied.
“I….. think we should go to our hostels, getting late!!”.
She nodded mildly. “mhmh…”.
I said, “can you go alone?!”;
“I can manage”
“mmhmh… . See you tomorrow!?”
“Yeah… ”, she said uncomfortably.
She stood there hesitantly. She did not move.
I said, “Go on”
She said, “No, that’s ok; you first please”
“mhmhm….ok”, I unwillingly turned and started walking away silently.
After an hour I dropped out of the bus at the campus.


9pm - 19th September 2012:
Exactly 11 years had passed since then; that proposal was not direct; nor was the rejection. It happened impatiently. Probably I expressed it in an awkward way. Now…I think it’s not about how it’s expressed but how sincere we are.
As soon as we entered the temple, I made a prayer to the gods, ran into a pact with those gods. But some prayers go unheard; some, go unanswered; some, get rejected. She never heard THAT prayer. Had she heard, I think, she would have accepted mine.
And that prayer is….
“…… …. …. ….”

I wish I could tell her that at some point of life. I wish I could tell her I, out of love, had accepted her rejection too.