the day has drawn to a close. nothing unusual, just as it had been for few weeks- busy, running around but not much productive.
except that i had been thinking of since 16th night, on .....how to...... observe the 15th year anniversary of .....realizing stupidity. or attaining enlightenment to present it better?!
15 years....had rolled on.
and many things flash upon....
****
never out of memory.......
the first time i saw you standing in black in front of the exam hall in admin block(A5 was it?)......
the second time i saw you in blue in the octagon userlab-2 through the door separating userlab-1
and 2.......
the last time i saw you in dreary red in front of the convocation hall. (was i having a...kind of tunnel vision!? probably. dont really know. nothing else i remember about that event)
never out of memory.....
are the moments that my fingers ever happened to touch you inadvertently.
the first time that i shook hands with you.....in a fresh morning in the IT lab.
the second time i tapped your hands off my keyboard when you tried to delete your mails from my inbox sitting in the same IT lab.
the third & last time i triggered an insect off your head inadvertently touching your head, sitting in kailasapuram park.
and no more.
never out of memory.....
the first time.....i gasped for breath and was out of words as i tried to speak with you in IT lab.
the last time.....you hung up the phone on me as i was standing clueless&listless(to say the least) inside the STD booth at maingate.
****
****
you are no-more. but i had to live. still trying to add some meaning to my existence; so many responsibilities to be shouldered, so many expectations to be met and so many lives to be saved.
i knew i was a patch of mud, a pack of dirt. but the feelings for you were the only lotus that grew in that mud.
i had nothing better than those. nothing more honorable than those feelings. i had nothing else to offer. all i had, if at all anything, was nothing but a little mud.
some memories are always fresh.
impossible to forget even if we try.
every 19th-september reminds me to make my life a little more meaningful and useful to the needy.
grateful to you janaki, for giving direction to this wandering bark in an endless ocean.
****
except that i had been thinking of since 16th night, on .....how to...... observe the 15th year anniversary of .....realizing stupidity. or attaining enlightenment to present it better?!
15 years....had rolled on.
and many things flash upon....
****
never out of memory.......
the first time i saw you standing in black in front of the exam hall in admin block(A5 was it?)......
the second time i saw you in blue in the octagon userlab-2 through the door separating userlab-1
and 2.......
the last time i saw you in dreary red in front of the convocation hall. (was i having a...kind of tunnel vision!? probably. dont really know. nothing else i remember about that event)
never out of memory.....
are the moments that my fingers ever happened to touch you inadvertently.
the first time that i shook hands with you.....in a fresh morning in the IT lab.
the second time i tapped your hands off my keyboard when you tried to delete your mails from my inbox sitting in the same IT lab.
the third & last time i triggered an insect off your head inadvertently touching your head, sitting in kailasapuram park.
and no more.
never out of memory.....
the first time.....i gasped for breath and was out of words as i tried to speak with you in IT lab.
the last time.....you hung up the phone on me as i was standing clueless&listless(to say the least) inside the STD booth at maingate.
****
****
you are no-more. but i had to live. still trying to add some meaning to my existence; so many responsibilities to be shouldered, so many expectations to be met and so many lives to be saved.
i knew i was a patch of mud, a pack of dirt. but the feelings for you were the only lotus that grew in that mud.
i had nothing better than those. nothing more honorable than those feelings. i had nothing else to offer. all i had, if at all anything, was nothing but a little mud.
some memories are always fresh.
impossible to forget even if we try.
every 19th-september reminds me to make my life a little more meaningful and useful to the needy.
grateful to you janaki, for giving direction to this wandering bark in an endless ocean.
****
