Here they are…., sitting on the beach, playing with
that sand. More than 15 minutes had passed since they came. Now…let’s try to listen to what they are speaking. After all, eavesdropping on lovers’ speech should be
honey to ears ;-) are we not feeling tooooo bored watching those waves!?
Uma:
mhmhm…yeah… of course…(thinking calmly)…silence is….one of the toughest things
to be understood. Sometimes, it’s painful; sometimes, too sweet and gentle;
serene and sublime. Sometimes…..it’s surprising; sometimes, comforting and
reassuring and….ah... sometimes, it’s… rude and shocking too….i..ahhmmh…agree
to what you say(looking at him with a mild mischievous smile).
Ezhil:
soooo… u agree, that silence is very difficult to be understood…tough to be
interpreted?!
Uma nods her head.
Ezhil:
then….(in a very friendly tone) why don’t you respond to my calls sometimes?
Don’t you understand, It feels very much uncomfortable-not knowing the reason
why you are silent?! It is…..kind of a…. (Knitting his brows and thinking and
eyeing down)mhmh...sort of a…pppp…pain,
u can say(twitching his left end of the bottom lip as if he feels the pain
right now as he says)
He stretches his right-hand and slowly
but firmly places on her left hand. She ….stays still; does not react; stays
calm counting the waves sweeping the shores. She seemed to accept without any
protest. She says nothing.
She knows very well, he feels
assured by placing his hand on hers; slightly gripping her backhand and all
fingers into his fist. She knows very well that Ezhil does this whenever he
feels like missing her. And she knows very well that this is more than
sufficient for ezhil to stay calm and balanced for another couple of weeks.
She very well knows if she just
lets him hold her palm, ezhil would feel secure; he’ll be assured that he is
ACCEPTED as her friend. More than that, ‘SHE’ ‘PERMITS’ him to hold her palm,
and….THAT is all that matters to him. It’s HER ACCEPTANCE that’s more important
than anything else to him.
She
knows very well….that there is ANOTHER girl that rules his heart.
And he…..knows that, beyond any
doubt, ‘THAT’ (only holding her palm) is his limit; that he has been given the
rights of just a FRIEND, and nothing more. He very well knows that she won’t
permit anything more, nor does he want to go beyond. He knows very well that
BEING ACCEPTED as s FRIEND, itself is a greater honour; particularly after
getting rejected in his previous personal relationship, this thought got
bolstered very deep. He knows the limits of both a GATE-classes-instructor and
a student. He’s very much mindful of their age differences.
He is ABSOLUTELY convinced (from
his previous experience) that “BEING TRUSTED”… is a
greater honour than “BEING LOVED”. So he never wants to cross his
limits.
And he
knows very well….that there’s ANOTHER boy that’s the king of her heart.
It is a very thin gray line that
they are treading along…., without CROSSING. At first look, one may tend to
think that…they are lovers. But the fact is, they are NOT. Both were unlucky in
their own loves; that means, both suffered the heart ache of unrequited
loves….individually. One seemed to understand the pain of the other. Each felt
that they shared the same boat or fate, whatever you prefer to call it. It was gentle EMPATHY, rather than simple
sympathy. They both have failed in their past. They both knew that they
chitchat only to forget the pain, to forget the painful past.
They are just friends-a little too
close. Though they seem to enjoy each other’s company, actually, each was… a
kind of a…cure
to the injury the other suffered.
It was just….a comforting presence.
Nothing more.
Ezhil:
…..(deeply thinking, slowly asked) I have told you the story of…othello, right?
Uma:
…(teasingly) ohmy god…a 1000 times. Not again. Don’t start
again….pleasseeeeeeeeee(begged him, with a smile)
But she
knows, every time he told her that story, she was drawn closer to him.
Ezhil:
….stared blankly….
Uma:
(observing that he’s upset)…by the way…. What about that…now?
Ezhil:
u know….desdemona too remains…silent….in one scene! தமிழ்ல சொன்னா கையறுநிலைத் துறை..……
Uma:
….looked quizzed…
Ezhil:
yeah….. There is this scene… (thinking deeper) I think…it’s the final act….
Desdemona understands that she has completely failed to convince Othello of her
innocence. She’s unable to convince him with her arguments. She has nothing
concrete to defend her case. She is NOT GIVEN the chance to prove her
innocence. Above all…she’s being accused by her HUSBAND himself and that is
unbearable to her……… More than proving or disproving, the FACT that her HUSBAND
had REALLY SUSPECTED her, is the most painful. THIS fact shakes her to the
core. This bitter FACT quiet vanquishes her; smothers her speech; numbs her
thinking process. THIS makes her, resign. This makes her, accept whatever
befalls without moaning or complaining; BECAUSE, her husband HIMSELF…had
suspected her…then what’s beyond this?, particularly when she has NOTHING TO
HIDE from him. She feels empty, accepts her fate and remains silent. (Raising
sight and looking at her)… don’t you see how painful that silence is!?
Uma:
…..remains silent….
Ezhil:
please try to understand this uma….(pauses a second)… (gently looks at her)Silence….,
is not the right answer… always. Silence….., is not sweet, always. Soo……(looking
at the endlessly-stretched and strangely-violet-tinged-horizon, searching for words to
convince her)…
Uma nods her head approvingly, but in silence.
